Wednesday, December 12, 2007

kiss my sass.

so i have discovered myspace.
i love it.
haha; mspace is soo four years ago.
ah, well.


tired of posers
yet where would we be without heartless mannequin's
doing it for all the wrong reasons?
oh, yeah better off.

i always get the shit of life and never the splendid.
the glass is never half full. i was late. someone better
got there first and drank it.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

drama doesn't follow me, it rides on my back.

god, i'm so sick of this game you and i seem to play.
well, fuck you i know who my real friends are.
i'm threw with your shit and her shit.
trust means NOTHING TO YOU.
well fine.
have it your way.


drop name of the day: BITCH.
current mood: pissed
current band: nightmare of you.

Friday, December 7, 2007

2006.07.12.

this one is for you.
i know somehow heaven can receive the airwaves
from my heart and tears.

shot in the head.
now i scream your name out, as you lay dead.
thoughts drift in the back of my mind.
now i only cry on the inside
as i watch my father's eyes water
as he stands beside a stone.

leave me.
leave us and him.
leave whatever you stood for and had.

nothing's left to discuss.
i write your forgotten love on my arms
praying it will bring you back.

bullet for my love.
bullet for armies across the sea.
never did i think a bullet would take you away from me.

summer days spent by the pool.
now summer nights, winter days spent missing you.
the pool dried up and was replaced with your dried blood.

love never dies.
it takes a long time
to heal.

grandpa blamed himself.
last one you conversed with.
he could have stop you
if he had known.
now everyday he wonders
what he could have done
and who thought this was the fate
you deserved.

last year this time,
i got grandma's crying call
begging for daddy.
i started to cry because
grandma cried.
i handed the phone to daddy.
daddy wept and wept.
i wept as he and i laid in each other's arms.
mom hugged us and rocked us both to sleep.

this year i woke up at five.
this year no one called.

never forgotten.
never understood.
never wanted to.
always remembered.
every day.

daddy cries sometimes.
he hung your hat over his heart.
your cigar box is on his dresser.
sometimes i go and smell them.
they smell like you.

it snowed on your grave.
i have never hated snow so much.


no one gets why
things upset me so.
that's okay.
they never have to get it.
sometimes i just need someone to hold my hand
and tell me to breathe.

you never know how much a person means to you
until they are gone.
you never feel heat until you get burned.

12 tissues per person per cry.
7 siblings left to cry in the snow.
2006 reasons to have kept you alive.
i love you.

12.07.2006.

Monday, December 3, 2007

puff puff [pass yourself] straight up [to Him]

Your eyes water.
the smoke chokes you.
your stupidity at its finest.
slowly killing you in plain view.
nail up your coffin.
give cancer to yourself.
your enemy is the thing you breathe.
i plea that you stop.
you plea that you not.

viva la addiction
its like a horror picture
caption in bold "kill me now and whoever else is around".

Oh, please Daddy don't leave me.
oh please Daddy don't.
Oh, please Daddy don't leave me.
oh please Daddy don't.
Oh, please Daddy don't leave me.
oh please Daddy don't.
Oh, please Daddy don't leave me.
oh please Daddy don't.

light one up every time stress runs through your veins.
just drift in the haze until it runs you away.
i hope they make you better as they make me cry.
i hope they make you better as they make me cry.
you're going to be dead with all that smoke gone to your head.
keep, keep buying more until you see Jesus at your door.
smoking kills and its killing me to see this.
smoking kills and its killing me to see this.

so puff puff those cigarettes until they take your last breath.

for everyone who though differently

i used to cry out of despair.
now i cry out of anger at
myself and the world.
my fortune was left untold.



the only credit you deserve
is the scars on my wrists,
my bleeding heart,
and the broken hallelujah sung in the dark.