everyone's a letdown...

so i dunno. i just am not happy for long periods of time. i am happy for a as long as i have a good laugh but then thats it. i have an illness. i cant remember the last time i was ever truly happy. i yeah i fucking remember now......

i am sick of school.
i miss you terribly.
i have messed this up.
i am sorry.
this closet sleepness gives me horrid neck cramps.
i wonder if anyone reads this.
i wonder if he notices on how i am no longer there.
i hate this. two friends. one war. shit happening. i cant this anymore.
i am prolly going to a football game next week. yay football.
i curious about homecoming....

until next broadcast. hasta la vista.

do you really wanna be a part of it?

i am so sick of pretending. you wanna know me? fine, bitch, let's get to know me.
but when this is started you will be forever part of this circle. forever remaining burdened by my many problems. you don't want to be my friend. you don't know what you're in for. you are better off alone. i am better off on the wrong side of town in some gutter.
this is a seasonal affair, babe. i differ from season to season. i am losing myself on this keyboard. try to make it logical. you can't and you never will.

blades, ahoy.

i wonder if ponyboy loves me. after all he loved a good outsider.

jesus, i miss my friends. damn timeline.

my insides are copper. i would kill to make 'em gold.

i hope you lose sleep over me. god, knows i haven't slept a wink since you.

i hate you two faced mofos.

i am angry person. i sometimes will cringe and flinch at my thoughts. this is normal. relax.

honestly, im messed up but im not scary. i am sick of that sterotype. i am tall and big but i wont kill you.

somehow in all this chaos we found safety.

so basically high school blows. i hate high honors and latin and i honest dont care if i drop out of them and you hate me. life is too short to hate it. i am a hard worker and even a harder partier. RIGHT NOW i just cant deal.

blades. ahoy.

love, stargirl.

to kill a mockingbird a second time.

to miss your best friends terribly.

i wish i was a movie star.

went to the met. it was amazing. i got a good story ideas and was writing it down on napkins like crazy. should be interesting.

going on the tour in a few days. am freaking pumped.

i just wannna let go and drown myself out of the world.

i wonder if god likes to watch his big tv of the world all the time or if he really listens or even is there?


-.-